Back Again
by XxXMidnightxMoonlightXxX
Summary: *Temporary title* The Yondaime and his wife reappear in a clearing not far from Konoha, somehow brought back from the dead, and when they see how their son is treated, they are /not/ happy, not at all... TEMPORARY HIATUS
1. Prologue

**Okay, my first fanfic ever! ...Posted, anyway. And it's for Naruto. Mainly 'cause, with similar stories floating around, I thought, mine won't be as noticable, so people wouldn't really pay attention to what an amateur I am. Yeah...**

**Anyway, onwards! (And upwards, like in the Chronicles of Narnia.)**

* * *

In a clearing a mile away from Konoha, a blue-eyed blond male and a violet-blue-eyed **(AN: What color are her eyes, anyway? As in, blue, purple, what?) **redheaded female appeared in a flash of light, about 10 feet in the air. They landed on their feet, being a shinobi and kunoichi, respectively.

The blond is Namikaze Minato, the Yondaime Hokage and Yellow Flash of Konoha; the redhead is Uzumaki Kushina, also known as the Red Hot-Blooded Habanero,Tomato, and the 2nd Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi no Kitsune, Kurama.

Minato held a hand to his head, looking around the small space, running to Kushina when he saw her (proving he really was a flash with his speed), and, naturally, wondering what the Shinigami-sama is going on. One minute, he's chillin' lika a villain in the Death God's stomach (Kurama - or at least his Yin chakra - is a _great_ drinking buddy, along with the Shinigami him(it?)self - don't ask), the next, he and his wife are near one of his Hiraishin markers about a mile or so from Konoha, _alive_.

Kushina - being the awesome female that she is **(AN: As you can obviously see, I am a Feminist (yes, capital F), so I'm totally bias. You can just ignore that.) **- wasted no time wondering why, instead, she had what I call a mini-mental-spazz-attack. And then proceeded to jump around like a squirrel on speed, from joy.

... Not really.

"... Minato? How long do you think it's been, you know, since we... died?", she asked.

"I don't know. Maybe we should head over-",

"-To Konoha? And have the people there freak out about us living, if they would even believe us? I mean _we _don't even know how we're here, how are we supposed to convince others?!",

The blond answered her, saying,"Exactly! They can help. Maybe we can even see Naruto! And Jiraiya, Sarutobi-san,your friend Mikoto..."

"Sure. And we might convince them by saying something only we and our close friends know, I guess, if we have to... Let's go,"

* * *

**First chapter - complete! Woohoo! *Dances around like a lunatic* I'll try to post longer chapters, you know, if the evil torture teachers use on us poor kids/teenagers called 'homework' doesn't a)eat up all my time or b) destroy me, whichever comes first.**

**Anyhoo, how old do you want Naruto to be? I was thinking either 12/13 or 15/16, like in the anime/manga (ptobably the former), but then I read this one fanfiction (only the newest chapter - I was following it) about how Obito goes to the future and ends up taking care of a litle Naruto, so... yeah. Maybe I'll put a poll up?..**

**Bye-bye, guys, this is XMxMX, signing off.**

***...***

**...Gods, that was... ****_cutesy_****... *Shudders***


	2. Chapter 1

"Asdfghjkl!"

Minato stared. And stared. ...And stared some more.

"... Did you just say 'asdfghjkl'?", he questioned the redhead he was walking with. Well, technically, they were tree jumping, emphasis on_ were,_ then _something_ happened, and Kushina jumped onto the ground, the blond landing next to her, being the faithful husband-who-does-not-wish-to-anger-a-former-jinchuuriki that he is. And that brings us to where they currently are, 5 minutes from the village, civilian speed.

"Nooo...", she said, looking at the ground.

The Yellow Flash sighed, and asked his wife,"So, why'd you stop?"

The Redhot-Bloody Habanero stared even harder at her feet, blushing so hard she was surpassing the 'Tomato' she was given a nickname after.

"... I ran into a tree branch. Stop laughing, it's not funny!", she told him, watching as the Legendary Yondaime Hokage of the great village Konohagakure started to crack up, and qite possibly breaking one of his ribs attempting to stop.

Naturally, he got a foot to the face for that.

"I'm out of shape, kind of, okay! I mean, seriously, I ... died ... after friggin'-giving-birth and using chakra chains to tie down the goddamn Kyuubi, damnit! KYUUBI!", the angry redhead stated, breathing hard, before calming down and telling Minato to get off the ground he was knocked down onto, 'cause they were walking the civilian way, and they were 5 minutes from Konoha.

_Ughhh, _was his only semi-coherent thought, staggering to his feet, because, frankly, Kushina kicks _hard_. _Really_ hard.

**~~~~~~~~~~I'm a Blue!~~~~~~~~~~Linebreak!~~~~~~~~~~Not Really!~~~~~~~~~~**

"-And-"

"Kotetsu, shut up and watch the gates, I don't care about your stupid syrup!", an angry Izumo told his partner.

Kotetsu pouted, saying,"Alright, alright, fine, no need to be so-... Hey, Izumo?" He, staring out from the watch tower, suddenly looked like he saw a ghost.

"Hmmm?"

"Naruto... he's still at Ichiraku's, right?"

"Duh, I can hear him all the way from here, where else would he be, anyway? He's 5, it's not like he can-...", they both saw their supposed to be dead Fourth Hokage,"... I'm not imagining this, am I?"

Kotetsu, still looking like a deer in headlights, just continued staring.

Izumo sighed,"You're useless, you know that?", and promptly called the Hokage, telling him about the person who looks like the Yellow Flash and a redhead walking civilian speed towards their (Izumo and Kotetsu's) post.

"... And you say nothing exciting ever happens around here... Pfft."

**~~~~~~~~~~Am I a Red?~~~~~~~~~~Linebreak?~~~~~~~~~~No!~~~~~~~~~~**

That is how the couple ended up in the Hokage's office, standing in front of the aged Sandaime, who was sitting behind his desk.

"You claim to be the _deceased_ Namikaze Minato and Uzumaki Kushina. That could be considered a criminal offence. Give me a _good _reason to not kill you, and I _might_ let you live." Of course, he didn't tell them the reason he gave them that option, was because he was actually hoping against hope they came back, knowing it was virtually - just virually, as in 0.0001 chance of happening - impossible.

The Kushina look-alike stepped forward, and started saying, "Sarutobi Hiruzen, don't you start threatening me, or I'll tell _aallll_ about that time you, Himura and Koharu-"

"Okay, okay, I believe you, just please don't!", the legendary Professor, the God of Shinobi, managed to say. That proved it. Kushina, at least, was back, seeing as no one else besides those involved - living, anyway - knew about _that_. _Damn_, he forgot how terrifying she was.

And if she was back - which, they established, she _was_ - then that meant Minato-kun was, too, because Kushina wouldn't defend/stand with/be amiable towards an imposter, she'd definitely know. And if he was back...

Hiruzen suddenly grinned widely; he realized he could pass the hat back down to the former Fourth, which meant no more paperwork! And Danzo, the one-eyed old fart, but mainly the paperwork!

...Yeah.

Minato, looking in his direction, suddenly had visions of his time in the office. _The paperwork, the _horror_! No, not the _paperwork! _Please, Kami-sama, have mercy! Shinigami-sama, I'm tasty, you can come swallow me again, just keep me away from the __**paperwork!**_

* * *

**Yeah... I made Hiruzen grin evilly while cackling like a disney villain in his head (yes, he was, I rule this story! MWAHAHAHAHA! Ahem...)**

**And I made Minato have a spazz attack. The mini-mental one Kushina had in the prologue.**

**Oh, and what Koharu, Homura and Hiruzen did... it was rated M, and that's all I'll say. I got the idea from **Lucillia**'s story** _5 Hokages_**, in the desk chapter. ****Read**** it. ****_Review_**** it. **_Enjoy_ **it. Seriously, the first - 2,3? - chapters are just plain ridiculously funny, especially (or maybe only) the Minato scenes. And the Madara ones, too.**


	3. Chapter 2

**Okay, chapter 2! I'm updating on my dad's birthday... Wow.**

**Oh my gods, guys! I almost had a heart attack when I got the emails about the reviews, story favorites and follows, even the author favorites and follows. I admit. I never even ****_thought_**** those ladt 2 were ****_ever _****gonna happen. I am so. Freaking. Happy. All tingly and stuff...**

**The idea for how Naruto and his parents meet comes from**

Bat-dove**. I just wrote it out, but I'm not sure if I did the scene justice.**

**Also, since I forgot for the other chapters:**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Seriously, who would actually ****_believe_**** me if I said I did? It's ****_fan_****fiction, people! And this counts for the whole story.**

**...ON TO THE CHAPPY! (The bunny...)**

* * *

"...nato. Minato, it's okay, you do realize you can't be Hokage if you don't want to, right.?"

A proverbial light bulb light up over Minato's head. "Oh, yeah!..."

Kushina sighed. Really, all she wanted to do was find her baby and get some ramen (because ramen is LIFE, people, **LIFE**) on the way.

"Still can't believe you overreacted like that. It's_ just _paperwork,"

The Third and Fourth stared at her, uncomprehending, as if Hiashi had just stripped and was dancing on table tops at a council meeting, while confessing his love to the Kyuubi. Yes, it was that bad.

Sarutobi looked solemn,"Kushina-kun, when you're as strong as we are, you understand that the only true evil in the world is paperwork. You're lucky you don't have to deal with it."

"I've always wondered why the strongest shinobi/kunoichi in the village sits behind the desk all day, paper-pushing," It was all well and dandy during the First's day, they didn't have that much paperwork, and since Senju Hashirama was Hokage when the village was being created, it makes sense that he'd handle the details, but _really.  
_  
Wait a minute... "Did you just imply that I'm _weaker_ than you?! How do think Minato is as good as he is with Fuinjutsu?! I can totally kick the village shinobis' collective ass, you _men! _Ugh, sexist people are _everywhere!_"Kushina was fuming, a black Kushina shaped shadow was floating behind her, both Kushinas' eyes were red.

"... You don't think that's the leftover influence from Kyuubi, do you?", Hiruzen whispered to his successor. The blond just mutely shook his head, kind of - okay, _really_- terrified of his wife.

... What? Angry females are scary enough (he_lloo_, Tsunade, anyone?), but angry female _Uzumaki Jinchuuriki_- even former - are just plain terrifying. Seriously. Like Mito, the First's wife.

Luckily, the angry redhead's husband new _exactly_what to do.

"Kushina-koi, how about, to make it up to you, I'll buy yup as much ramen as you want!"

... Poor Minato's wallet. You can practically _hear_the poor thing crying.

**~~~~~~~~~~What Am I?~~~~~~~~~~A Linebreak!~~~~~~~~~~**

Naturally, they headed towards Ichiraku Ramen, the _only_place for ramen. Along the way, they received many strange, awed, creeped out and so on, looks from the villagers. Thankfully, the Hokage (or, at least, the current one) had someone inform the entire village about what happened.

Hearing the news, some idiotic villagers cheered, not just out of happiness that he (the Fourth) was back, but because they believed he would finish what he started, by killing the 'demon brat'. Being the retards that they are, they walked up to him and asked about it. Kushina was standing near him.

... The redhead promptly proceeded to bash their skulls in. With their spines. Yes, people, this is why you_ do not _anger female former-Juinchuuriki Uzumaki.**_ Ever.  
_**  
"Kushi- (Bang!), Kushina- (Oof, "Ahhh!")". _*Sigh*. Now what?_, the blond thought. They _really should _go now._ Really_. Before those villagers, oh, I don't know, get murdered!? (What? He might be_ really, really _angry and upset at/with them, but they're still people of the village. Plus, he gave his _life_ for them, he's not about to _kill_them. That would be wasteful, after all!)

... Oh, wait, it's fine, the redhead-from-he'll got bored and tired, the poor losers are spared (well, they_ might _have lost the abillity to have children. _Ever. _No loss, though.), and Kushina gets her ramen! Woo, how wonderful (if you could not sense the sarcasm of that sentence,you are in dire need of help. Never fear, all you must do is immediately find the most sarcastic friend/relative/acquaintance you have and listen to him/her for a few hours. Problem solved.)

**~~~~~~~~~~Linebreak, Linebreak~~~~~~~~~~Whatcha Gonna Do?~~~~~~~~~~**

"Oh! We're off to see the Ramen Chef, the Wonderful Ramen Chef of Konoha!", Kurama's second container sang.

That's... from

the Wizard of Oz_?!_, most people thought. The Yellow Flash wouldn't admit it, but he was thinking it, too.

The strange (yes, kiddies, _strange_. Well. 'weird' would be better, since 'weird' is good, 'strange' is bad, and 'odd' is what you say when you don't know what to call someone. So, I guess they're 'weird'.) couple walked into _the Wonderful Ramen Chef of Konoha_'s shop. And, once again, Minato stared. And stared.

... Nope, still staring.

What was he staring at, you (and Kushina, who continued to walk towards the counter) ask? Oh, not much, just a _few dozen empty ramen bowls_. And he couldn't even see who was behind them (He _really_ wanted to know who it was; their appetite could rival his wife's, and she was the champion ramen eater!)

Kushina walked up to her husband and dragged him to the stools at the counter. He sat bext to the empty bowls.

...No, still

way _too much to be possible, you know, without being Kushi-chan_, he thought all over again.

"TEU-CHI! I'm _ba-ack_! 3 miso, 4 pork, a beef 2 veggie ramen(s?), please!" the redhead almost shouted.

"Kushina! Just a second, good to see you again!", the old(-ish) owner of the shop greeted one of his favorite customers, while handing the mysterious customer behind the bowls _another_ one.

"Arigatou, Teuchi-jii-san!", a little blond - head? - said (read: shouted), peeking out from behind his collection.

Now it was Kushina's turn to stare. _He looks like _me_, with Mina-kun's colors... And he has my appetite and love of ramen, too._

She hesitated,"Um, is your name... Naruto?"

The boy nodded and beamed, happy that someone _actually_ used his name, and not in an angry and hatred-filled voice; you could see it in his expression. It broke her heart.

Kushna lunged at him, pulling Minato with her, then proceeding to hug the life out of 'her' boys. Naruto was _really_ confused, so was his dad, but then he saw the kid, and his wife's actions made sense. They had so much in common: the appetites- oh, sh**, he could almost _feel _his wallet shrinking. Dagnamit.

"Er... Excuse me, but, who are you?", his little boy said as soon as they let go.

They sighed, and told him (well, Minato did, Kushina was busy tearing and choking up):

"We're your parents, Naruto-chan."

* * *

**DUN, DUN, ****DUUUN!**

**Ah, man, I got some water on a page of my notebook. Luckily, I already typed it up, and it was very little H2O, but still...**

**Now, if you'll excuse me, I'ma read similar stories and try to come up with the next chapter.**


	4. Author's Note

Alright... So, I hate this story, and I've always known it kind of sucked. So, I will take it down in 2 weeks. If anyone wants to adopt this, or use any of the ideas, just PM me. And if there are people out ther who actually liked this and want to reread it later... I dunno, copy and paste it somewhere, I guess?


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